Photo: homorazzi.com
By Elizabeth Newby, Columnist
Lindsay Lohan is by far one of my favorite disasters, and I hate myself for saying that.
I think that most of America finds pleasure in watching the original “Linsanity” fail over and over and over again (Jeremy Lin reclaimed that nickname for more positive use, unfortunately). Ironically, most of her success and notoriety has come from the fact that she can’t seem to do anything right.
And let’s face it, she was never that great of an actor. Mean Girls relied mostly on Tina Fey’s solid writing and not Lohan’s comedic line delivery.
From her flopped movies to her leaked Playboy spread to her recent SNL choke, Lohan has received relentless Twitter hate.
But I know you already know all of this because there are very few celebrities that command as much media attention and discussion as Lohan.
Since the rise of popularity of The Parent Trap, she’s exploded, living out her teenage life uncomfortably in front of the paparazzi. The constant media overload was formulated to bring her down.
And as consumers of this culture it’s like we somehow expected her to end up normal when she has never experienced any sense of normalcy. But I don’t want Lohan to be normal. I want her to do a few more lines and flash her augmented boobs to a reporter. Sobriety isn’t entertainment.
In lieu of her recent attempt at a comeback, a Youtube video has surfaced that tracks Lohan’s physical changes over the past 25 years. It’s called “Lindsay Lohan’s Changing Face” and I recommend that everyone watch it at least five times.
The video is a creepy morph set to apocalyptic music.
I swear to god that the illuminati are behind it.
But anyway, it makes me really concerned for our American future. I’m concerned for Lohan’s face and the future of plastic surgery. I’m scared for the psychological future of all the children that watch it. But most of all, I’m concerned for a future of consumerism propelled by hate.
